These several airy unnamed messengers
Do daily cram my inbox bursting full;
And with a battery of promises
(Of manhood's lengthening, safe and natural;
Of sites whereat strange couplings may be seen,
Or beauties nubile as the law allows;
Of meetings with old schoolmates, none of whom
I've spared a brace of thoughts for these ten years)
Make sifting out my correspondences
A passing trial. O, take care, my friends!
The rambling jest you send has like been seen
Ten times, forwarded by some jackanapes;
And sooth, I'll not contribute to a chain
But risk the lapse in fortunes an I don't.
Of all conveniences, these are most meet:
The Bulk folder, "Select All," and "Delete."